Episode Transcript
[00:00:06] I'm not sure what you can hear, but this is Views from the Sea, when you call that radio. I'm testing out a new mobile microphone.
[00:00:19] So I. I am walking on a rocky beach.
[00:00:23] You might hear some ghosts, my wee pals. You might hear some traffic because tourists have invaded the fictional village of Il of Inverce and I'm not too happy about it.
[00:00:40] What happened to our beautiful cold country?
[00:00:45] I kid I could. I could. I love it. I've been loving the sunshine.
[00:00:50] It's been warm for a thousand days.
[00:00:55] It's quite bad for being creative because I'm trying to write a book, but you try and write a book and then you feel guilty that you're missing the sun because it might not come back.
[00:01:05] And then when you're in the sun, you're guilty for no writing a book, you're guilty for not doing a podcast.
[00:01:13] But then when I do podcast stuff or stuff for the YouTube channel, they couldn't watch it anyway because everybody is out enjoying the sunshine and you're allowed to do that. I'm not having a go use, but is there a point? I'm doing a podcast and when it's sunny, I don't even know.
[00:01:28] But I've actually got enough stuff for a Views from the Sea today. So I thought I'll do a wee. I'll do. I want to go in the sun.
[00:01:39] We. As I speak, the World cup final is about to happen and think I'm going to go and watch it somewhere.
[00:01:48] And so I asked the World cup throws everything off.
[00:01:53] The World cup, you know, between Scotland and England. Games have.
[00:01:58] It kind of destroys my routine because believe it or not, I don't really. Unless it's in a gig at the bars or something. I wouldn't drink during the week, but World cup games is kind of change that a bit. It's throw my. Throw my routine off.
[00:02:17] And right now, although I should. I mean, this time last year I'd done eight festivals with eight more to go.
[00:02:24] So, yeah, I've said no. I kind of. I felt sad about missing Nokia, sad about missing Kelburn, but although it looked really rainy, so less sad about Kilburn.
[00:02:41] But right now, back then the rabble was happening and I was invited to that. I was also invited to play Big Love in Wales this weekend. I was invited.
[00:02:49] I was going to pay my flight to do two tunes with my famous We're Going to Do On It Again and Quantum Loop.
[00:02:55] And I was tempted. I felt that's probably the most rock and roll thing I've ever done would have been taking that flight, a free flight to go and do two songs with no band with me. That'd be great. That sounds great fun.
[00:03:08] But the reality is that I would have went to the festival. Apparently it's an amazingly friendly festival. I've got some friends there. I recognize people that are on the bill.
[00:03:17] But apparently it's the friendliest festival in the uk.
[00:03:21] But they probably mean it's friendlier than England, I would imagine because I think Scottish festivals are friendlier than all the English festivals. Maybe Lindisfarne is the one English festival.
[00:03:33] It's a wee bit friendlier because it's the Geordies. It's Geordies and Scottish people there.
[00:03:39] But yeah, in general I think. But I kind of got to them all going. But at the same time, if I went to Wales I'd meet lots of people. I've had a great time and I would have stayed there for four days, probably a day to travel home and then two days to recover because recovery these days I don't know if it's my age or because I live in a remote place now. But the, the. I love talking to people and when I go into the city or a festival, talk to every. Everyone.
[00:04:09] I enjoy that but when I come back I feel exhausted and some of it, some of that has to do with alcohol, but some of it's not.
[00:04:17] But yeah.
[00:04:19] So this is Views from the Sea, as you call that radio.
[00:04:22] I hope everyone is well.
[00:04:25] Hope that this microphone works. This is a new microphone. We are sponsored by N.
[00:04:30] It's a N microphone.
[00:04:33] Nobody sponsors us and we don't want sponsorship. We don't want adverts on this show and that's purely because there's some generous people that listen to the show and decide to join the Patreon.
[00:04:46] And this show can exist. The podcast, the events, the.
[00:04:51] The YouTube channel.
[00:04:53] None of it would exist without the Patreon. So if you want to join, you can patreon.com call that radio. We are having a. A private party for the patrons on the 1st of August. So if you want to hear more about that, check your Patreon notifications or the the secret WhatsApp group. We have an app party and you're invited on first and somewhere in Glasgow and then we are have. We're also hosting a gig in the 16th. My favorite band from Mexico is coming to.
[00:05:27] Going to. We're going to do an unofficial after party for the Govern Hill Festival on Sunday 16 August.
[00:05:32] We've got an Amazing lineup. It's called you call that Mexico? And it was when we did you call that Mexico a couple years ago. I lived there for a bit and this was the. My favorite band. Delighted that they're playing Glasgow on their European tour and we're hosting it. The lineup's going to be banging, so hopefully see you there on the 16th of August. And then we're also going to go back to. We're doing a lot of gigs in the Islands this summer.
[00:05:57] We've been to Aaron, We've been to Butte.
[00:06:00] I've been to Aaron, we've been to Butte. We do Salco, which isn't actually an island, but it's near the water.
[00:06:08] But yeah, we'll go back to the Aoe Butte, the anchor bar for Gordy Duncan, my. My brother Gordy Duncan and my mame, the incredible Maimamero who's got a new band called Merrill Folk and they're incredible. They just got a single of the week on BBC Scotland Radio Scotland Introducing or whoever it is. So, yeah, my Mero and Goldie Duncan on the A Labu. I love going to the AEW Butte. It's a beautiful place.
[00:06:37] So, yeah, 1st of August, private Patreon party, 16th of August.
[00:06:42] We've got. You call that Mexico and govern hell. And then on the 22nd, we're going back to the Isle of Butte. Get that Calmac and join us. There's a free camping and free.
[00:06:57] Free camping, free parking. If you're interested, send my message and yeah, enjoy. Enjoy. Views from the sea I can't remember exactly what I've got lined up for you, but I'm sure it'll be reasonable.
[00:07:13] Who's ready for some Clacton funk? Nigel Farah Just one of the L here is sign because he's innocent he's in the Epstein fails but claims he's not establishment Nigel Farage Just one of the lads Larras Chucky a la he chose to spark a by election PR spin for the win he forgot that Posh George Posh George gave him 5 million Nigel Farage Just one of the lines or took your life up the raw he's been on news night 5000 times likes inciting riots and causing hate crimes the man who brought his Brexit Boris and Rishi says Lizzie trust budget was the best in history he's friends with the President but says he's an underdog they print every word he says and gave him his own TV show Nigel Ferrars Just one of the lies up the road Nigel Ferrara if no one stands, then he will win.
[00:08:36] Gonna spend this summer arguing with a band if no one else stands then he will win. Gonna spend the summer arguing with a band. Nitrovarage Just one of the lads says shockiela.
[00:08:54] Just one of the lies.
[00:08:56] It's Nigel Barrage.
[00:08:58] Just one of the lies says shockiela.
[00:09:06] It's gonna be a hot benchmar. Gonna be a hot Ben summer.
[00:09:13] Gonna be a hot bed summer.
[00:09:22] And now it's time for our phone in. Is your call on? You call that radio.
[00:09:28] Hello?
[00:09:29] Hi, it's Walter. Long term Patreon first time caller. What's happening? I was wondering why you hate the English. You're always supporting Norway, Argentina and all the teams that are playing against England. Shouldn't you be supporting your neighbors? Stop being a tosser. Well, thank you for calling. Don't cancel your Patreon.
[00:09:53] Well, love. Love the English people.
[00:09:55] The. It's just banner.
[00:09:58] It's just banner.
[00:09:59] Like we don't like the commentators. That's. It's just the football commentators, they do or not. And they always talk about 1966 on every single game. It's just annoying. It's nothing against the English people.
[00:10:14] I love all the musicians, all the artists, all our friends from England. It's just. It's just a bit of banter for the football specifically because we don't like the football commentators. Everyone else is absolutely sound. Oh, really? So do you think that the politicians are sound? The. The Westminster politicians are sound.
[00:10:36] The politicians.
[00:10:42] Can I ask you a question? Who's the Prime Minister this week?
[00:10:48] Do we know who the Prime Minister is?
[00:10:53] I've been at the hospital before as someone was getting questions to see if they had dementia or not. And the question was, who is the Prime Minister?
[00:11:02] And the prime minister had changed multiple times.
[00:11:08] Multiple times.
[00:11:10] There's always a new prime Minister. Every, every other week it's a new prime minister and the next prime minister is arguing. We have been prime minister resigns. No David cares.
[00:11:24] And occasionally every four years there's about 10 prime ministers and every four years we don't even get to choose that one.
[00:11:36] Scotland hasn't chosen a prime minister since I think Tony BLAIR when that 1994.
[00:11:43] So are you pro independence? Do you want to break up our great union?
[00:11:48] Oh, we don't talk about politics on this show. We don't. We don't talk about politics or football. The other two rules, they're the two rules of the. The. Yeah, the two rules are we don't talk about politics or football.
[00:12:03] We don't do that on. You call that radio?
[00:12:06] The football commentators are really annoying. Let's forget.
[00:12:10] Forget about the colonialism.
[00:12:12] It's just that we're sick in 1966, so we can hear it all again.
[00:12:17] Let's no talk about politics. Let's just stick to the.
[00:12:21] Let's just stick to that.
[00:12:26] Hello. Oh, no, don't cancel your Patreon.
[00:12:38] I think I lost another Patreon.
[00:12:42] I just want to give a big shout out to all the patrons who haven't canceled, who are still rocking with you. Call that radio?
[00:12:50] Your support means the world. As I finish writing my book, finish making my album and supporting the underground music scene at large, we're doing a bit of independent journalism, getting a few laughs on the way. It's only possible for you. That's the reason there's no adverts, there's no sponsors, just you.
[00:13:10] Thank you. Patreon.com forward/. You call that radio. There'll be no more adverts on this show.
[00:13:19] I think Keir Starmer did a good job.
[00:13:27] I actually think. Yes, Darmer. Cut.
[00:13:31] I actually.
[00:13:32] I actually think Kirstarmer was a good Prime Minister.
[00:13:37] Cut.
[00:13:39] He was a boring man.
[00:13:44] He united the country.
[00:13:46] He united the country because nobody has ever been so unpopular on the left and the right and the centrist.
[00:13:58] Everyone hated Keir Starmer.
[00:14:01] And I didn't really do much.
[00:14:04] It was, you know, he didn't really do anything. I mean, I think that was the main issue. He didn't do anything.
[00:14:12] He's a very boring man. I mean, I think the first problem is his space.
[00:14:17] If you look at Keir Starmer's face, that's an issue.
[00:14:21] And I don't mean that he's an ugly man.
[00:14:24] I don't mean it with that. I'm not being critical of his face. I'm being critical of his face, actually. But it's more because he kind of looks like he puts water in his cornflakes.
[00:14:38] Not because he can't afford milk. He can clearly afford the milk.
[00:14:44] Or a more exotic cereal boy just chooses to pour water in his cornflakes just so that he can be raging, just so that he's got a serious face, a very serious dir.
[00:15:06] Face.
[00:15:09] He's so boring that he resigned as Prime Minister and nobody's actually given a shit.
[00:15:21] Nobody's even really talked about the fact that the Prime Minister has resigned.
[00:15:27] Everybody's talking about England drawing now. Now we Ghana people talking about it's hot.
[00:15:40] People are talking about how hot it is.
[00:15:45] But the prime ministers are saying that used to be newsworthy and we've had quite, maybe we've had too many resigning, what we are seven or eight in the last nine years or something, maybe.
[00:15:58] But I don't think it is because, like, he was there for two years, which, you know, I don't like the guy or his policies, but I mean, in two years you're not going to undo 14 years of Tory austerity. It's not going to happen.
[00:16:16] But he was in the job for two years, which is a long time by current Prime Minister standards. Two years is actually quite a long time now.
[00:16:32] But I remember when Liz Truss, when l Trust, when she, when did she resign? When she, she became Prime Minister, killed the Queen, destroyed the economy in a couple of weeks.
[00:16:48] She got beat by a lettuce and her resignation speech was hilarious.
[00:16:54] Everybody was talking about the List Trust resignation. It was really funny. It was, it was a.
[00:17:02] It was probably the only funny thing that's happened in politics for a long time.
[00:17:12] That's probably my favorite resignation is Liz Truss. But the views and opinions of you call that radio are just merely opinions as views from the sea. What I would like to hear your opinion. This is your call on. You call that radio. Who, who is your favorite. Who is your favorite Prime Minister resignation over the last few years? I would love to know who you thought gave the best resignation speech. And also I'd like to know.
[00:17:43] I'd also like to know if you think K Star did a good job.
[00:17:49] It was David Cameron who resigned because, well, they say it was because it was Brexit, but it was actually because everyone was saying they shagged a pig.
[00:18:02] The history books have been rewritten a little bit to say he left because people voted for Brexit.
[00:18:10] But if you remember, if anyone was actually alive then and paying attention, they were saying that he shagged a pig.
[00:18:19] And I think that was why he resigned, because he didn't, he didn't want to be called pig fucker all the time.
[00:18:25] But Brexit's been good though, innit?
[00:18:30] We're all feeling the benefits of Brexit. Countries never been smoother.
[00:18:36] The, the control of the borders seems tighter than ever.
[00:18:43] And I was probably the next Prime Minister might be Nigel Farage who told everyone that Brexit was a good idea and now he's saying reform's a good idea and now he's calling for a general election. Now, even though about five Tories resigned and there was no general election, there was no snap general election when that happened. He would love a general election right now so people would stop talking about the 5 million quid that he took from a crypto billionaire so that he can deregulate crypto to make the billionaire made billions of pounds.
[00:19:23] So we snap generation, but maybe stop people talking about the 5 million quid that he has definitely taken as a bribe.
[00:19:35] And he should go to jail.
[00:19:38] He should go to jail. He shouldn't be Prime Minister.
[00:19:41] He should bend the jail with Peter Morrow and Prince Andrew and Donald Trump, get him on the jail.
[00:19:50] Why rich people?
[00:19:52] Why the rich people just never go to jail?
[00:19:56] And his answer is, is that because the Tories that have joined reform are sticking to the same policies. So he's admitting, he is admitting that the Tories are reform. They're the same people.
[00:20:13] So the people that destroyed the country for the last 14 years with austerity and blaming immigrants, that's all we've heard for 15 years. And people keep on voting these in.
[00:20:27] They've all moved for Conservative to reform. The same people that destroyed the economy, that made everything expensive, that gave us Brexit.
[00:20:39] This just, this caused the cost of living crisis. Everything is because of 14 years of Tories.
[00:20:47] And then Labour tried to be with the Tories and now reformal it. Why don't we try this?
[00:20:55] Why don't we blame it on immigrants again? Except we'll do it more this time.
[00:21:03] And they're funded by the billionaires.
[00:21:07] The media is funded by the billionaires.
[00:21:10] They've got all the money, they've got all the wealth, they've got all the resources. They're the ones that are putting the price of everything up.
[00:21:19] Stupid, unnecessary wars, putting the price everything up.
[00:21:27] And yet they will just get you to talk about trans or immigration.
[00:21:38] That's it. That's all they ever talk about.
[00:21:44] I'm beginning to think that maybe that stuff doesn't matter as much as the billionaires who are destroying the planet.
[00:21:56] From the climate to the economy.
[00:22:02] It seems apparent that these are greedy bastards at the top.
[00:22:09] They don't want to help anybody but themselves and their stupid wee families.
[00:22:17] The billionaires are not your friends.
[00:22:22] And I think your Starmer did quite a good job.
[00:22:31] I think. I think Kirsten was a good.
[00:22:41] Me.
[00:22:48] The fact that I've never seen the Matrix, I've been. I've been posting about it for years. I've actually never seen the Matrix. Are you kidding me? Tom Holland for Spider man, he said that he'd never seen the Matrix. He's stealing my partner and everyone's like, oh, my God, Tom Holland's Never seen the Matrix. Spider Man's not seen the Matrix. It's never been a movie. I've put a whole mic and I.
[00:23:07] It's not the first time someone stole my partner. Maybe my partner's in a generative AI cloud that people at Tom Holland can still feel free because it's so far removed for what real people say. And real people say things like, I've never seen the Matrix.
[00:23:22] When was Tom Holland? Like, how old is Tom Holland? How old?
[00:23:26] How old was Tom Holland when the Matrix came out?
[00:23:29] Are you just trying to say that I'm old?
[00:23:32] I'm older than Spider Man?
[00:23:35] Well, it just proves a point. I've never been seeing the Matrix longer than he's been a spider.
[00:23:42] This is a picture of me in 2015 with a Matrix DVD. Someone got me for Christmas because they were sick of me talking about who had never seen the Matrix. It turned out it was in the wrong language. I think it was in Finnish or something. So I've still never seen the Matrix. Basically, a lot of naysayers and doubters claiming that I'm stealing Tom Holland's partner because he says he's never seen the Matrix. I'm just. These are the receipts to prove that I've not been seen the Matrix since before he was a Spider. It goes back to 2015. But this actually began in school. The Matrix commitment. I was still in school and somebody said, the Matrix is really good. You should check it out. And I went, noted. That does sound good. I'll get rid of that eventually. And I never did. I'll maybe put on some Matrix music in the background while we're looking at the receipts that. I don't know if that sounds matrixy.
[00:24:32] It sounds matrixy to me, but I've not seen it.
[00:24:36] I've.
[00:24:37] You know, I used to talk about the Matrix. You know, I would quit small. I used to quit smoking a lot. And one of the ways that I quit smoking was by pretending that a bag, a pouch of baki was like the Matrix dvd. Because I've just. If I can't. If I can't see the baki, I can't smoke the baki.
[00:24:55] So that was a theory. I did also, I tried to quit smoking by pretending I was in an airplane because I never smoke when I'm on an airplane. So I just imagine the whole world was an airplane. Never seen the Matrix. Or heard of Justin Bieber song. Still never heard of Justin Bieber song. That was 2018. And then Glitch in the Matrix. I've heard that phrase. I mean, is this a glitch in the Matrix? That film looks shite, if that's what that is. Just two guys in a train that look like each other.
[00:25:17] And then there was some me talking about Taskmaster. I've never seen that either. I don't even know what Taskmasters is.
[00:25:23] But yeah.
[00:25:24] So, anyway, I just thought I would show some evidence.
[00:25:29] I'm not copying Spider Man. Spider man is copying me. It's outrageous. Part of thievery. I'm sick. Yet I want to know what you've not seen. I'm more interested in what you've not seen than what you have seen. So stop telling me what you have seen. Tell me what you've not seen.
[00:25:48] Today we are asking, is Glasgow ready for the Commonwealth Games?
[00:25:54] George Square is shut, so he's going to have to get by.
[00:25:58] A mixture of austerity and lack of community funding is closed down. Great piece that was a slap in the face from partisan politics. But luckily there is Cycle lanes. He's going to be okay because of the cycle lanes, but. Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no.
[00:26:13] Psycho lanes are still under construction.
[00:26:16] Glasgow has landed in the four corners.
[00:26:19] Surrounded by poverty, addiction and YouTube auditors. He's playing six at the park. La Englund. Oh, no. The orange walk has appeared at the four corners.
[00:26:30] Things have went from bad to worse for Glasgow and the Commonwealth dream may be over.
[00:26:36] You can never rule. You can never rule a moot. It's not looking good. Oh, Glasgow fighting on.
[00:26:44] Oh, someone.
[00:26:46] Come on. Against our watch has got out. But what you doing? You've run into Square being a bit dodgy there. But Glasgow was ready for that. They've got away with it. A week slap from minimum alcohol pricing, a kick from another art school fire and walk right into the demolition of another much loved venue being turned into student flats. But you know what he's got away with?
[00:27:07] Glasgow actually is ready for the Commonwealth Games. Tell you mad, didn't it? I didn't think Glasgow was ready for the Commonwealth Games, but apparently Glasgow is ready for the Commonwealth Games. Everyone chill out.
[00:27:26] I CTR sponsored by Nikunt.
[00:27:35] I've got an important announcement to make.
[00:27:39] I've been getting emails and phone calls about it all week and I've been busy and I didn't think it was that important, but I've actually received an actual letter today from someone very important.
[00:27:50] So, yeah, basically there's going to be emos in town today for My Chemical Romance and there's also an orange walk and the president of the committee of Emo concerns has contacted me to warn any emos that watch my show. I don't know if there's any emos that watch my show.
[00:28:13] I don't know. It's talk about emos, but they've said, mark, you talk about music, current affairs and Scottish stuff, so it kind of fits in my Venn diagram.
[00:28:31] So what I would say is if you're an emo, there's a thing called the Orange Walk.
[00:28:40] Don't get mixed up with your parades.
[00:28:44] It's not like the Black parade. It's nothing like. It's like a. An orange walk.
[00:28:50] And I. I'm not here to. To make judgments on the orange walk. Not today. It's not about that.
[00:29:00] The orange Walk.
[00:29:02] I could all. I could warn the orange walk that there's going to be emos in town as well.
[00:29:08] Scram.
[00:29:11] Leave her alone.
[00:29:14] She doesn't want to talk to you.
[00:29:17] Get out of here.
[00:29:19] He's only going to get on.
[00:29:22] It's not going to work. It freeze.
[00:29:25] I don't think the emos are going to be attracted to the Orange Walk though. They're. They're very orange and brightly dressed.
[00:29:33] But if you're an emo and you feel the urge at any point to join that parade, then don't.
[00:29:43] Then don't. Please don't.
[00:29:46] It's not for you.
[00:29:49] It's just. I don't know why the president of the committee of email concerns is as concerned, but that's their job to be concerned.
[00:30:00] So I'm going to take it seriously. I don't want any blood in my hands. I don't want any emos going out there thinking that this is a pop up emo band marching through the streets of Glasgow.
[00:30:12] This is very different from My Chemical Romance.
[00:30:16] They're not gonna. I don't really know much about evil music, so I can't really make any punch, but they're not gonna be singing the fringe my father wore.
[00:30:28] They have different musical taste, different clothing scents.
[00:30:37] I don't think youse are gonna be pals.
[00:30:42] I don't think the orange walk will welcome you with open arms.
[00:30:47] Emos, stay away from the orange walk.
[00:30:51] Orange walk stay away for the emos stay away for them.
[00:30:57] And now for the weather. It's pushing down.
[00:31:01] Have a nice day.
[00:31:07] Anytime they want to walk in the orange walk.
[00:31:15] Emos oh don't, oh no Emos oh no, oh don't, oh don't, oh don't join the orange walk.
[00:31:22] And it's raining outside Ain't no sunshine for emos if they go to the Orange March walk show, This is the news. But the problem is there's too much news.
[00:31:42] There's too much news.
[00:31:46] I don't even know where to begin.
[00:31:48] I suppose we need to begin in the usa.
[00:31:53] When was the last time you listened to to the birds?
[00:31:58] Because a little birdie told me. Why was there a wee shindig at the White House? They were celebrating the 250th birthday of Donald Trump.
[00:32:10] So Donald Trump celebrated his 250th birthday this weekend.
[00:32:16] And what do you get for the man who has everything?
[00:32:22] Well, you can give him £2 billion worth of crypto scam money.
[00:32:29] And that's just the money he's declared and all. But it's not enough. It's not enough. I mean, what's 2 billion to a man with billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions, billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions, billions and billions.
[00:32:53] So how about changing the rules of an entire sport?
[00:33:00] And that's what he's done. He's just admitted to doing.
[00:33:04] He had.
[00:33:07] A USA player was correctly sent off.
[00:33:10] And Donald Trump proceeds to tell everyone nobody knows more about sports than him. Like it. So I saw the play and I'm a person that loves sports and was a good athlete and I understand sports really well, really well.
[00:33:28] But he doesn't understand what a red card does. Vision to red card. I didn't know what the hell a red card was. When I found out, I said, you got to be kidding.
[00:33:39] Yet he decides to phone the guy. FIFA, you know the guy.
[00:33:48] You know the guy.
[00:33:51] Today I feel African.
[00:33:58] Today I feel gay.
[00:34:02] Today I am corrupt.
[00:34:07] The fact that Donald Trump is interfering with the actual games of football, the laws of the game, who is suspended, who is not, comes as no surprise for anyone who listened to Donald. Where's your morphe by Jackal trades Last month you would have heard that prediction.
[00:34:32] The FIFA prize winner only goes go was brown envelopes turned the news into the soaps.
[00:34:41] Now he's coming for a sports president var and the referee's ear. Another penalty to usa. Oh, dear.
[00:34:55] And then it went on to actually slag the referee and make it the what? The referee has some sort of agenda and a devious past. I think it's. I think it's a terrible. If they wouldn't allow, you know, a top player, maybe the best, maybe among the best players on the team to play, I think it would have had a big stain, but then I looked at his past and it wasn't so great. So you've got a guy who is it matting to corruption, trying to say that the other guy is corrupt while he's admitting to corruption.
[00:35:41] And this is like an, like a mafiosa style tactic because now the referee in charge of any further games involving the UFC knows that one of the most powerful men in the world is going to overturn their decisions and get revenge. Does that revenge look like being publicly slandered? As is what's happened here being undermined by your decision being overturned?
[00:36:13] Or are you going to get deported?
[00:36:17] Are you going to get jailed?
[00:36:20] Or could you even have a tragic accident?
[00:36:28] So just to recap, the guy who says he knows everything about sports, doesn't know what a red card does, incorrectly decides that a decision is wrong because it doesn't benefit his team, phones up the corruption FIFA to tell them he changed the decision, and then basically threatens a referee and any other referees who may even consider giving a decision against the usa.
[00:37:01] The absolute madness that a man who doesn't even know anything about soccer can change the rules of the game in the middle of the biggest tournament.
[00:37:16] It's correct to point out how stupid that is. It's also worth mentioning that he did steal £3.4 billion off his own followers with his fake crypto coin.
[00:37:28] It's worth mentioning the fact that he chooses a big firework display over helping his own people. It's worth mentioning that he has caused a war for absolutely no reason, just to for financial gain. As the cost of living crisis spirals out of control.
[00:37:48] It's worth mentioning about the genocides and bombings that he's been complicit in, but he just literally admitted to insider trading earlier on this week. Everything he does has no consequences, but everything he says is purely to get anyone to talk about anything other than the Epstein files. So just remember, everything that he does has no consequences. But there is something in those Epstein files that he's scared of and he's willing to do anything or say anything to avoid that being brought up. So this is just your daily reminder that they've still not released the Epstein fails. Scotland brings the party. Scotland brings a volume channel. Epstein files outside the ballroom. Donald, where's your great Wall? Donald, where's your ballroom? I saw you on Joe Logan. Where's your Epstein files? Donald, where's your tariffs? Donald, where's your Noel? Donald, where's your Trump phone? Some folks say you're Noel. Donald, where's your bunker. What happened to your crypto? Where's your university?
[00:38:55] Where's. Where is the casino? Bankrupt. Like the amendments and constitution. Nobody knows more in the world than the prostitution.
[00:39:12] Good luck.
[00:39:21] So can you tell me a wee bit about the early days of what got you into pub quiz from a very young age?
[00:39:31] Always knew I was different.
[00:39:33] Some.
[00:39:34] All the guys were going and playing football and wrestling in the playground, all the girls were skipping and playing with their dolls and stuff and I was putting my suit on and going down with the water to read out pub quiz questions. Kids can be cruel. They would say things like, big daft question, he'd. And they would say, quizzy modo and big daft question mark.
[00:40:07] In pub quiz. Prick. Still get that one, I think. My dad took me to the pub where I was two and that was my first pub quiz. Went to Butlins and obviously a lot of pub quizzes you need to be a certain age, so I would have fake id and eventually I just moved abroad to places that didn't have as strict licensing rules. And I've been kind of living a lie the last God knows how many years by playing music in a band. But all I really wanted to do was a pop quiz.
[00:40:38] But you are a musician.
[00:40:41] Not a very successful one, but you are a musician. How does that compare to being a quizmaster? How does being a pub quiz host compare to playing the Barrowlands? The Barrows is great, but give me a shite hole on a Tuesday night any day of the week.
[00:40:57] Buzz, buzz, Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong. Uruguay. Uruguay.
[00:41:05] And I got the phone call about two months ago saying, mark, would you like to host a pub quiz? We're struggling. I was like, yeah, I'll do it. I'll absolutely do it. And they were like, well, we'll sort out the money. And I was like, we don't need to sort the money. This is not about money, this is about art. And I see pub quiz as an art and a sport and I respect it. And I was humbled that day doing that pub quiz. And I've done a few since and it sounds a bit cheesy, but every single one of them always feels like, greatest day of my life, all of them.
[00:41:39] Obviously, there's controversy every time I do a pub quiz because I do things a bit differently. I don't play with the book, I play from the heart and I make decisions that not everyone agrees with.
[00:41:50] That's fair.
[00:41:52] Do I deduct points for cheeky behaviour? Yes, of course I do. I take points off for cheeky behaviour. If I get an inkling that someone's cheating in their phones, I mean, I'd be a lifer for someone that's cheating in their fucking phones. I like not fancy Dan questions. I like just, you know, what was the first country to win the World Cup? I like that. I like who was the second man in the moon. I like that.
[00:42:16] A lot of the audience hate me. They were raging. They were raging that I hadn't come their scores, but they didn't put their name in the sheets. Another team wrote, fuck you, Mark, which isn't bang. Isn't ideal, but I appreciate the passion of a club quiz. The controversy came when I told them that they were barred. You're barred. Get out of my face. You're bald.
[00:42:39] In yoga.
[00:42:40] What is known as sorehen.
[00:42:43] No, you spelt that rhyme. You spilled that rhyme literally. Look, I don't make the rules. I don't make the rules, right?
[00:42:51] You've got to understand. You spelt it wrong. Enemy of your cheek. And I'll take five points after five points. There you go. Is that no fair?
[00:42:59] Is that unfair? I don't make the rules. I don't make the rules. I'll take another five points. Do you know what? You're barbed. You're barbed. Eh? You're barbed. Did I have the authority to bar people?
[00:43:11] Maybe not.
[00:43:12] But in the heat of the moment, I said, you're barbed. You're barred. You're barbed. It's not a fair game.
[00:43:18] I want people to take it seriously, as seriously as I take it.
[00:43:23] And I'd love to retire and just do pub quizzes full time, but that's not the way life works. Life is hard for artists. I'd like to say I'm excited about the Mickey Nines gig next weekend. I'd like to say that.
[00:43:36] Will I see it on the record? No.
[00:43:39] All right, man.
[00:43:40] Do you want a cuppa?
[00:43:42] Okay.
[00:43:50] I don't hate the Mickey names. I don't hate the Mickey rings. But their T shirts make good towels, if you know what I mean. They announced that the Gyro Babies were playing and got 250 likes. We announced the Gyro Babies when the Gyro Babies announced. And the Gyro Babies are plane. We're lucky if we get four likes and a sad react.
[00:44:07] And we are the Gyro Babies. Know them.
[00:44:11] I've seen the flyer. I looked at the flyer.
[00:44:14] Couldn't even see our name in the flyer.
[00:44:19] Apparently, we are in the flyer.
[00:44:21] Sorry, I've not got my reading Glasses on me.
[00:44:25] Hope one day to retire, but I'm not ready to retire yet.
[00:44:36] Too many scapegoats, too many chances.
[00:44:40] I hope that I wake up and I'll finally get answers. Too many questions. Keep your suggestions.
[00:44:49] I want answers.
[00:44:51] I want answers.
[00:44:54] That was. That last clip was an old one. That was an old one from the pub quiz days.
[00:45:00] I was reminded about it because I was actually at a pub quiz last week for the first time in ages. We finished second, as always.
[00:45:09] So I hope you've enjoyed the show today.
[00:45:12] If you. I hope to see some of you on Saturday 1st August, we're throwing a wee private party.
[00:45:18] If you're a patron, check your notifications for the full lineup and the times and location etc.
[00:45:25] And then on the 16th of August, I'm delighted to say that we have the Incredible Serene all the way from Mexico City. They're on their European tour and they wanted to play Glasgow.
[00:45:41] I interviewed them and met them in Mexico. They were incredible, incredible band. I'm excited to bring them to Glasgow on Sunday 16th August at McNeil's. We've also got support from Merrill Folk, which is my Mamero's new band, who are doing incredible with their new single Beckoning Back, which I recommend you check out. It's already been playlisted by BBC Radio Scotland Introducing or whatever. It is a single of the week, so they're getting great feedback so it's going to be good to have them. It's at McNeil, so it's only about 80, 100 people, so we're hoping to sell that out.
[00:46:17] Early Bird tickets are on sale on Skittle just now. It's seven pounds. It's also the same day as Governor Festival, the music festival part of the festival.
[00:46:27] So you've got a whole bunch of stages for free and the music. Normally there's outdoor stages and indoor stages and it's all free during the day. And I noticed that last year there was nothing on. There was no music on after 6:00'. Clock.
[00:46:40] So I think it's going to be great for were hoping they would play the actual festival, but that never worked, that never materialized. But they want to play Glasgow and look, if you don't get booked for the festival, I'll book you. So I've said I would do it, so I'm doing it and I hope everyone turns up because we're going to. We're making a special effort for this one. We're getting my favorite sound engineer to bring an entire PA and back line to make it sound like McNeil's has never sounded before.
[00:47:08] So that's Sunday 16th August.
[00:47:11] If you're a patron and you're a bit skinned, give me a message and I'll sort you out with a guest list.
[00:47:16] And Then on the 22nd, 22nd August, the Island Sessions continues.
[00:47:29] This time the island we're going to is the Isle of Bute where we've got Gordy Duncan and Maima Mero performing at the Anchor. That's free entry but get there early because it will, it will, it will be busy. It'll be a busy one. Get there early if you want to get a good seat and there's. There's camping space and parking space. If you want to get a bonnie view just next to the venue, that's absolutely fine as well. And I am also working on hopefully I think the new Jackal Trades album should be finished by next month. I'm really working hard on the book just now as well. I hope to release some details about that very soon.
[00:48:09] But I have released last week I released the first or two weeks ago the first single from the new Jackal Trades album which is called Death of a Daydream. It's featuring Sevka on vocals. Incredible and produced by Wav Machine who's an absolute genius.
[00:48:27] So this is the first sneaky peek of what the the new Jackal Trades albums going to sound like. I'm going to end the show with that, if you don't mind me playing one of my songs. But I just check out the video as well. Sasha's done a great video for it on YouTube and I'm really proud of this song. I hope you enjoy it. And this has been review soon to see you on your call that radio. Thank you for listening this far.
[00:49:26] Will be dealing with.
[00:50:01] Of drama sailing from the mainland and the hint of anger wafting through the airwaves.
[00:50:11] I feel art at school but I could draw you my quality depth because I choose volume.
[00:50:46] Turn the music up a little bit so we hear what we're dealing with.
[00:50:51] Slide the planes down a little bit now we can see what we're dealing with.
[00:50:57] Turn the music up a little bit so we can hear what we're dealing with.
[00:51:02] Sl the planes down a little bit now we can see what we're doing right Sa.
[00:51:32] Never been affected.
[00:52:50] It.
